I’ve just released the second single called ‘against the grain’ from the album of the same name, Diemislade, and I’m beyond confused; I tried to promote my music organically, but I ended up with inflated listens and almost non-existent followers. Moreover, the followers I do see are more thanks to my own efforts than anything else.

Disappointed, completely disappointed.

The radio stations don’t pay me any attention. I’ve changed promoters, let’s see how it goes, I remain skeptical, but in life, you never know what to expect, or at least I don’t. Others seem to hold the key to the truth, unfortunately not me.

Anyway, let’s move on to lighter topics, my first CD purchase.

It was a depressive period; I didn’t feel well-liked, I felt marginalized and treated like the last idiot in the group, and the disarming thing was my total inability to rebel. I was like an empty plastic bag carried by the wind. During that time, I often watched All Music and MTV, and ‘It’s No Good’ by Depeche Mode often played. I never really liked it much, not even the video, because it showed me the world in an even more pessimistic light than the idea that was already developing in me.

Then ‘Home’ came out, and I was thunderstruck! It was the song I needed at that time! It was for ‘Home’ that I bought ‘Ultra,’ only for ‘Home’! I didn’t understand ‘Barrel of a Gun,’ ‘Useless,’ ‘It’s No Good,’ but I still really like ‘Home.’

During that period, I played Dune 2 a lot, a strategy video game where the player chose a house (I chose the Atreides) and tried to lead it to the conquest of the planet Arrakis and the monopoly of Melange, a spice similar to cinnamon that was very precious, it was like the oil of today, and perhaps that was the writer’s reference!

Anyway, while I was playing Dune, ‘Ultra’ was always in the background, every time, and it was the perfect album for that game. Specifically, ‘Sister of Night’ and ‘The Bottom Line’ were suitable, they left an unfillable void, a sense of melancholy, of anguish. I remember that when I finished the military campaigns, in the assault phase on the enemy outpost, I remember gathering all the troops and destroying one position after another, slaughtering the infantry and the workers.

Despite it being a game, and it will seem absurd what I’m about to say, but with ‘Sister of Night’ playing, when I saw the last enemy units coming towards me and being slaughtered by 20/25 quads, strikers, tanks, rocket launchers, sonic cannons, and Fremen, I felt sad… especially because the soldiers took a few seconds to vanish when they died… absurd! What I was saying is, ‘Why do I have to exterminate an outpost that can no longer defend itself? Why didn’t the game developers put in a ‘surrender before massacre’ function?’

Despite everything, Depeche Mode never pushed me to want to commit suicide or anything like that; on the contrary, during that period, they kept me great company and indirectly also helped me enjoy a game like Dune 2 immensely!

The funny thing is that now ‘Barrel of a Gun’ is almost among my favorites, along with ‘Freestate’ and ‘Home,’ talking about Ultra! If I have to extend to the entire Depeche Mode discography, there are too many: ‘I Feel You,’ ‘Walking in My Shoes,’ ‘Everything Counts,’ ‘Behind the Wheel,’ ‘People Are People,’ ‘Enjoy the Silence,’ ‘Personal Jesus,’ ‘Dream On,’ ‘In Your Room’… and I’ve forgotten many.

The music video for ‘against the grain’ will be released on Tuesday, May 6th, 2025, at 2:30 PM.

Stay tuned!